Can You Marry Your Late Friend’s Spouse?? (See Responds)

If they were not yet married when their best friends died, Saturday PUNCH asked some Nigerians whether they could marry their late pals’ spouses

The loss of a friend who just got married could be very painful, to say the least. But sometimes, death, the ultimate price everyone pays in life, could come at a time when no one expects it.

He couldn’t be the only man left on earth

Lolade Bola
Nay, I would do no such thing. It is abomination. My job would be to console my friend’s husband and pray for his quick recovery from the shock. But to think of marrying him, I don’t think that is possible no matter his persuasion because he couldn’t have been the only man left on earth. There may be nothing wrong with it, but I wouldn’t just feel comfortable to do that. To me, the scenario would look like displacing my friend from her rightful place to get there.

It’s a risky adventure

Kufre Umoren
It’s like seeing trouble and willingly jumping into it. There could be consequences for taking such a step later in life. People could start saying lots of negative things, especially if we encounter problems in the marriage. It is a risky journey and I would not embark on it in the first place. There are other women out there that I could marry, so why put myself in chain? Moreover, according to our culture and my belief system, I don’t think it’s right.

This situation is worrisome

Olaniyan Tolulope
It’s a complicated scenario. First, it would look like I had waited for my friend’s death in order to marry – like as if she had not died, I wouldn’t have been able to marry. I don’t pray my life turns that way. I would only console the man and try to limit how often I visit him, no matter how close my late friend could have been. Until I get my own lover, I would keep my fingers crossed and wait for the appropriate time.

I’ll seek consultations

Nicholas Veyet
This is the 21st century and so if we love each other, I should be able to carry the burden of my friend. Personally, if he was a very close friend and a good one for that matter, I wouldn’t love to see his wife suffer after his death. I would take her in if she loves me likewise and agrees that we should marry. I agree that many people would think we planned it all along. They would even accuse me of killing my friend in order to marry his wife. But if my conscience doesn’t judge me on the matter, I will ignore them. Life must continue after she lost her husband.

If they had no children, maybe

Enize Ruth
Really analysing the situation, there is nothing wrong in doing that. However, the only condition would be if they had no issues before her death. If he is a young man and really loves me, I may consider his offer if he proposes – if I had no partner. That doesn’t mean I do not respect my late friend. In fact, it would be an honour filling her husband with warmth of love again. I would need to seek counsel from friends and family before I take such a decision, though.

What will people say?

Adetayo Lami
Even if you’re right on issues, it’s always good to ask oneself what people would think and say when they see you do something. It’s not because they are gods or that I fear them, but what people say behind you matters a lot. Even if the lady in question wants me, I may hesitate just because of that “what will people say” question. Even if I will agree to marry her, I must consult every stakeholder in the matter and let them know of my intention. If they disagree, I will let it go, but if they agree that we could marry, I will go ahead.

I can’t ride on my friend’s disaster

Omotolani Rukiyat
That cannot happen. It’s like rejoicing over the death of my friend and riding on the disaster of another. It is not good. Even if people would not say any bad thing about me, I have to be careful and not put myself in unnecessary crisis. Also, what if we’re not compatible and issues start propping up because I had failed to caution myself?

They would think I killed my friend

Peter Olaniyi
You want to try that in Africa? People would say you don’t have the fear of God or that you would make God angry by that action. They would even say I had a hand in the death of my friend. God forbid I do such! There are unpalatable experiences that I have heard that are similar and the parties ended up in pieces. They eventually broke up due to severe problems that rocked their marriages. If there were problems later in such a marriage, people would naturally assume that you had something to do with your friend’s death. It’s better to stay off it.

I wouldn’t do it

Gloria Kwamu
Let him take his love to another woman, I cannot marry my late friend’s husband. What is bad is bad, it has no other adjective to describe it. What will I gain from doing that? Would he show me love that no other man on earth would not be able to show me? It is better to think of the consequences of the action before embarking on it. People will make one a bad point of reference in the society sooner or later. Especially if the man is rich, they could say I killed my friend so I could snatch her husband. These are the issues. I wouldn’t marry such a person.

I can never try it

Abiodun Adeosun
I still want to see good days in my life and enjoy them to the fullest. That cannot be achieved by marrying the wife of my best friend. There will be lots of rumours whether you like it or not and such could destroy one’s reputation. People would say all sorts of things and would even tell other lies about you. For these reasons, I cannot try it. If I were not married, I would wait till I get my own so I could enjoy peace in my life. I believe God would provide another man for her to marry.