Please Advice: My Parents Want Me To Marry My Late Sister’s Husband

Dear Chi-Chi,

No doubt, I have heard and read stories about young women who were persuaded to marry their late sisters’ husbands for one reason or the other, but I never imagined it would happen to me in my lifetime.

I am the last female child in a family of two children. My elder sister, Bridget, was about 10 years older than me but we were very close. She met and married her husband, Maxwell, when I was in SS 1. However, five years after marriage, she was unable to bear him children.

They did a series of tests. Although they were confirmed to be in good health condition, yet there was no child. Nevertheless, they persistently believed God for a miracle.

Unfortunately, in the sixth year, when she went for her usual series of test, the doctor told her that she had fibroid and that it would not be easy to conceive. “Bridget, the scan conducted shows that you have fibroid.


If you could not conceive all these years when you were alright, with the fibroid it will be very difficult. But there is nothing impossible with God,” the doctor revealed. This latest sad news devastated her.

When she called to inform me, I encouraged her not to lose faith in God. “Sister Bridget, don’t lose faith in God now because with Him all things are possible,” I said. “Florence, I love my husband very much and I want to give him a child,” she said amid tears.

Fortunately, some months later, she conceived and this made everyone very excited. Maxwell spoilt her with lots of gifts. Nine months later, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. When my parents called to give me the good news, I kept screaming with joy because I have a nephew now. I was then serving my country in far away Benue State. I promised to see them as soon as possible because the service year was almost over.

Regrettably, a week later, my father called to inform me about the sad news that shocked everyone, especially her husband, Maxwell. “Florence dear, I will need you to come home as soon as possible,” he said. “Daddy, I hope there is no problem?” I asked. He managed to say, “The truth is that your sister died this morning. We are all shocked over here. In fact, Maxwell is still in shock. We all need you here,” he demanded. I wept uncontrollably but however promised to travel down immediately after our Passing out Parade. That evening, I took a night bus back to Lagos.

When I got to Lagos, my little nephew was already in our house with my mother. He was so small and cute. My mother told me that Maxwell handed him over to her to look after since he was an only child and orphan hence has no one who will take care of my nephew from his family. Thus my mother and I started taking care of her grandchild and my nephew. Maxwell comes to see his baby almost every day. With time, I bonded with him and began to call him my child and this made my parents and Maxwell happy.

While in my final year at the university, I met and fell in love with David. We agreed to get married. Fortunately, we were posted to Benue State together. He proposed and I happily accepted. I told my parents about David and they invited him over to the house in order to know their future son-in-law well. David loves my little nephew and this made me very happy because I had told him repeatedly that when we get married, I would love him to stay with us since my mother was gradually aging. David and I were at the verge of starting our wedding preparation when my nephew, Junior, clocked one year and three months when my parents called me one Saturday evening and told me that I cannot marry David. My father spoke in parables for about five minutes before throwing the bombshell. “Florence, I know you and David are planning to get married but you cannot marry him. We want you to marry Maxwell,” he revealed. Shocked, I asked, “How can I marry my late sister’s husband? I consider it an abomination. Besides, I have a man who I love so much and want to settle down with.”

“Florence, that is what we have decided on,” my father insisted. “Did Maxwell put you up to this? If he wants to remarry, he should look for a woman outside this family. And daddy, please if this is a joke, it is an expensive one,” I retorted.

“What are Maxwell and my parents up to,” I muttered. Two days later, I had a heart-to-heart talk with my mother about the issue. She disclosed that Maxwell approached and told them that he wanted to remarry but that the woman had to be me since Junior called me mummy and I loved him a lot. 

“Florence, there is sense in what Maxwell said, that is why we want you to marry him so that you will continue to take care of Junior as your son. Do you want another woman to come in and maltreat your nephew?

We know that you will love Maxwell with me,” she emphasized. “But mum, what about David? He is the man I am in love with. He loves, understands and cares about me, I cannot ask for more. Please you and dad should understand that I have my life to live as well. I cannot disappoint him. Mummy, I am pleading with you to understand that I love David and want to spend the rest of my life with him,” I pleaded, in tears.

A few days later, Maxwell came to the house and told me that he did not mean to cause any problem for me; however, it would be unwise for him to marry a woman who would come in and maltreat his young son or who Junior did not even know.

“You are the only woman Junior calls mummy. You have always loved and cared for him as if he was your son since his mother passed away. Please give us a chance so that we will be a family and live as one,” Maxwell pleaded. “But Uncle Maxwell, you should have discussed this issue with me before informing my parents. What do you want me to tell you now? The harm has already been done because my parents don’t want to see David, the man I love in this house anymore. Please, leave me alone,” I snapped. Before walking away, he apologized and pleaded for my understanding.

Right now, my parents do not want to see David, my fiancé anymore or hear about our wedding plans. They insist that they need someone who can take care of my nephew, Junior; and I am that woman. Should I marry a man I have called uncle for years and who I don’t love? What happens to my love, David? Do I give up my own happiness to make my family happy? Please, I need your sincere advice.