Chi-Chi's Corner: Reason why women cheat in their relationships

Here is another segment of Chi-Chi's Corner.... Why do Women Cheat? After last weeks corner, many have been asking that I write more...well here it is!

I was discussing with a friend about what to write about and this question came up..Read on!

Why women cheat differs from woman to woman. Some do it for love, some for sex, some need a boost in their self-esteem, some say "size factors", and some are just wired to be unfaithful.

I’m of the opinion that it doesn’t matter why women cheat. Once the cheating occurs I’m not one to go looking for excuses for bad behavior. I know from experience though that if one is cheated on, your first question will more than likely be, "why?!!!"

Here are a few reasons I have come with that may be a reason why women cheat. Keep in mind that the reason behind the cheating is not as important as the cheating itself. Don’t allow yourself to make excuses for bad behavior!

The Low Self-Esteem Woman:
Some women become nothing more than a mother, housekeeper, just girlfriend, and wife who keeps the family running smoothly and trying to drive her "relationship" to another level for the once whom are still dating. Maybe she is feeling frumpy and unattractive. Her self-esteem is in the gutter…she no longer feels sexy, beautiful or desirable. She is dating/married to a man who takes her and the relationship for granted.

Enter into the picture a man who compliments her, shows interest in her emotionally, tells her she is beautiful. A man who looks at her and sees something other than just being "the girlfriend", a mother, housekeeper and wife. A woman who is having issues with low self-esteem is a sitting duck for a man like this. She may find herself willing to throw caution to the wind in order to find the validation she needs and is not getting in the relationship.

The Emotionally Starved Woman:
I know a couple that are living together. They both work hard so they can have the big house, the expensive cars and the prestigious lifestyle they believe will make them happy when they settle down and man and wife. Only problem is, they are working so hard to accumulate things that they are neglecting their relationship with each other.

There is no romance in their relationship and any emotional attachments are to the “things” they’ve acquired over the years. The lady recently told me she was “lonely in her relationship.” What happens when a woman feels lonely and no emotional attachment to her man? She goes looking for emotional attachment elsewhere.

The Angry Woman: 
There is no better way to get back at a man who has cheated than to cheat yourself. It is true that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” If you want to bring out the worst in your wife let her doubt your fidelity.

I know a woman who had been a devoted girlfriend. She had spent her time putting her relationship first. She caught her man with his young lover and was hell bent on getting revenge. She found someone a shoulder to cry on who eventually became what i call "the penis to ride on"

So, if you are out cheating on your woman do so knowing that she may end up playing “tit for tat.” Nothing is more surprising or harder to deal with than finding out your devoted girlfriend/wife has decided that what is “good for the goose, is good for the gander.”

The Woman Who Seeks Excitement: 
You have heard of men who are serial cheaters…they cheat for the thrill of it. There are women who are thrill seekers also. They may love their partners, would never entertain the thought of leaving him but they need a little something extra.

It is my opinion that most “thrill seekers” miss the feeling that comes with feeling their partners can’t keep his hands off her. She wants to be wanted, to feel sexy, as if she turns her man on every time she walks in the room. When she loses that feeling, she goes looking for it outside else where.

The Sexually Deprived Woman: (exclusive for married couple)
If she isn’t getting enough sex with her man, don’t be surprised if she goes looking for it outside the marriage or relationship. As men age their testosterone levels drop. When this happens they become less interested in sex or develop sexual dysfunction and are unable to perform. (for the married) A wife ends up with a husband who would rather watch football or read a good book at bedtime than have sex with his wife. In marriage relationship comes with time and age...things starts dwindling.

He would rather do anything other than take the chance of trying and then not being able to perform. He withdraws from his wife instead of discussing his problem and coming up with a solution to the problem.

Then you have men who withhold sex as a form of punishment. Men who don’t communicate their dissatisfaction with something their wife has done but punish her by withdrawing from her sexually.

Whatever the reason is, ignoring the sexual needs of your wife sets you up to one day have to deal with the pain of her cheating. When a woman feels her husband no longer wants her sexually, she feels deprived and uncared for. Feelings that may spur her into going outside the marriage to find what she needs.

NOTE:

Regardless of the reasons women cheat there are no excuses for being unfaithful. I had an email recently from a reader; he stated, “While no one ever twists the arm of a cheater to offend, does it not seem plausible that a spouse who dismisses overt dissatisfaction share some responsibility in paving the way for these things to happen?”

My response was “no.” No one is ever responsible for cheating but the cheater. If a wife is having problems with self-esteem, or feeling sexually deprived she has options open to her other than cheating. First, there should be effort put toward solving the relationships problems. If that can’t be done there is divorce court and for those not married, break up. Anyone needing something they can’t find inside the relationship should wait until they are legally free or broken up with their current relationship before seeking it outside. 

My cure opinion on cheating is "if you want to be a player, stay a player and don't get into a serious commitment with no one"

drop your thoughts, questions, and opinion on this... for those seeking counseling advice... I will be will to answer all your questions on the comment thread.